Baiting Voldemort
by cari55a
Summary: Harry Potter is bored in his room at night and decides to make some bets with the big bad Voldemort. Does this end with a steamy passionate night? Read and find out!


**Hello my devoted tigers!**

**My story is based on Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling.**

**I hope you like it! Send me reviews! I take constructive criticism. **

**Enjoy this oneshot. I ****might**** make a sequel. **

BAITING VOLDEMORT

At Harry Potter's Place (4 Privet Drive)

"55 sheep, 56 sheep, 57 sheep…"

I. Am. Bored. Me, 'The Golden Boy' AKA 'The-boy-who-lived' AKA Harry Potter is peacefully counting sheep. My so-called "family" is FINALLY asleep! After they're horrendous amount of chores all day and they're bitching, I FINALLY have some peace. The problem now is that, I am afraid of sleeping.

Why? Because I always end up having nightmares about the death of Sirius, Cedric, my mom, dad…the list just goes on. Additionally, sometimes fate switches up my nightmares to Uncle Vermon beating the shit out of me or Voldemort AKA Snake-face is sending me all the Unforgivable curses at me before killing me off with the big scary "Avarda cadavra" curse.

Scary. Ass. Shit. Son! Uuuugh why does cruelty always happen to me? Is fate a sadist or something? Maybe I'm a masochistic?

Well, I should start thinking about my life in a positive manner. Speaking of positivity, Voldemort is kind of sexy when he is torturing his minions. Especially how he smoothly spits out those Unforgivable curses with such venom…makes me shudder. MMmmm…bad Harry! Bad! Bad bad bad! I should not be thinking that my archenemy is attractive! Uuugh, maybe I am a masochistic! Damnit! But, it is true…Voldemort has a certain sexy charm. His red piercing eyes staring straight through your soul. The way he licks his lips before giving an evil smirk. And even that evil baritone laugh he does when he's tormenting people. Uuuuugh! I have got to do something about this! I'm rock hard and this peaceful thinking is not helping! In fact, I am getting harder every second!

Ok, I have decided that I need to come up with a plan to get him to have sex with me.

Hmmmm, let me think.

Oh! I could write him a letter telling him to come over here and fuck me! Perfec-wait, that would be a terrible idea. He'd probably end up killing me instead since by stating the sex so boldly, he'll think I'm a lunatic.

Hmmm, well I do like the idea of writing a letter to him.

Oh! He's Slytherin, so maybe I have to bring out my inner Slytherin methods of persuading him to fuck me…yep let's go with that! Bring out my evil thinking cap! Mrwahahahaha!

Now that I have a quill and paper, I need to think of what to write.

Hmmm, think Slytherin Harry. Think Slytherin. Oh! He's a very competitive person isn't he? Perfect! I got the best idea ever!

(10 minutes later)

Done!

"Hedwig. Hey girl, I'm sorry to disturb your sleep, but I need you to deliver this letter to Snake-face."

Geez, Hedwig can be a bit intimidating sometimes. She almost bit my fingers off before taking the letter and flying off. I'll have to make a mental note to buy more owl treats to get on her good side.

At Voldemort's Hideout

Stupid bloody minions! They can't even follow a simple task as to capture a fucking 16 year-old boy. I swear, they are related to hippopotamuses-why is there a bloody white owl that I do not recognize tapping on my window?

Shut the fuck up! Uuuugh, ok ok! I'm coming you stupid bloody owl!

"There! Happy now!? I am starting to read the letter, so you bloody owl can go the fuck away!"

_Dear Snake-face,_

_I always knew you are a coward! _

_Really? You sent 7 death eaters to capture me? 7 death eaters to capture a small 16 year-old boy AKA me!? Wow. Well, just to let you know, a couple of them lost a certain part of their…anatomy shall I say it in etiquette manners. _

_You do know that I undergo Dumbledore's training? I'm not that weak you know? _

_Anyways, this goes to show that you, Voldemort, are weak since you use such cowardly methods. You got your death eaters to buy and use the Weasley Twin's stink bombs for the distraction? Really!? Like, for serious? Another FYI, I am unfortunately immune to the Weasley Twin's inventions because they always test them out on their friends and family (I happen to be their friend…I don't even know why I still am). _

_So…to conclude this letter. You are not a Dark Lord. You are a __**coward**__. A weak, pathetic, inhumane creature who can't do shit. _

_Sincerely,_

_The-boy-who-kicked-7-death-eaters'-asses-by-using-a-removable-genitalia-spell AKA Harry Potter. _

I will kill that fucking brat! How dare he insult the greatest Dark Lord of all times! I am not a fucking coward!

(10 minutes later)

"Avrick (Voldemort's eagle)! Come over here and deliver this letter!"

At Harry Potter's Place (4 Privet Drive)

Ehehehehe! I hope he takes the bait. He's going to be pissed! Wooohoo, the more pissed he is, the hotter the sex is going to be! Mrwahahaha!

Oh, will you look at that! I see someone replied rather quickly.

"Well aren't you a beauty! Here, why don't you rest up with Hedwig over there while I read his letter."

_Potter,_

_How dare you call me, the Dark Lord, a coward! (Yes, I felt the need to use that many exclamation points to make myself clear!). _

_I am not a coward! In fact, the only reason I had my minions take care of the task of capturing you is because you are seen as __**not**__ important! I do not need to waste my time fighting a little tiny emotional teenage boy! _

_I, the great Dark Lord can do anything and everything! There is nothing that I can't do! So, you better watch yourself brat! You never know when you are going to be killed by me!_

_Sincerely, _

_Voldemort_

_P.S. – My name is not Snake-face! It is Voldemort! V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T. Apparently, you need to go back to pre-school because your inability to know people's names is a form of idiocy. _

Mrwahahaha! He took the bait! Now, time to reel him in!

(10 minutes later)

"Here beauty, take this to your master."

At Voldemort's Hideout

Hmph. That should teach that senseless brat a lesson!

"My goodness! Took you long enough Avrick! What were you doing over there!? Having a buffet-you have a reply!? How dare you waited for him to reply before coming back! And he should not have the nerve to reply back! Apparently he does not know how stupid he really is! He should be trembling in fear!"

_Dear Voldie,_

_You do realize that in the previous letter you sent me, you just clarified that you are a coward indirectly...the part where you "sent your death eaters to take care of me" clearly means that you are incapable of taking care of capturing me yourself. _

_You are a coward. You say you can do anything and everything right? _

_Well, I bet you can't even kill your sidekick Bellatrix, who by the way shagged Dumbledore 5 months ago in his head office. How did I know? Well, I so happen to have an invisibility clock and be in the room by accident. _

_Yea, so I hate to break it to you but…your sidekick is really working for Dumbledore. My sincere condolences are given to you. Uuuugh, it was really really really disturbing to watch the whole shagging bit…gross, now I have that image in my head. _

_Anyways, if you do manage to kill Bellatrix…I __**may**__ reconsider you not being a coward. _

_Sincerely,_

_The-most-attractive-16-year-old-boy-called-Harry-Potter_

_P.S. – I can call you whatever the hell I want. I'm not scared of you Moldie-worts. _

Potterrrrrrr! I'll show you that I'm not a coward!

"Bellatrix! Come over here! We need to have a ssssssmall chat."

(20 minutes later)

That bitch! So it was true, she was having an affair with Dumblefuck! Ughh, disgusting. Now I have some of her blood on my expensive silky robe! Well, now I'll just burn her body into ashes before replying to the ignorant Potter.

(10 minutes later)

At Harry Potter's Place (4 Privet Drive)

Come on Voldie, take the bait! Take the bait! Come on letter…oh!

"Hi beauty! I see that Voldie didn't cook you yet, thank goodness! You're too gorgeous to eat," I cooed to Voldemort's eagle while giving her a treat before opening the letter.

_Potter,_

_You were actually right about Bellatrix shagging Dumbledore. That was the most disconcerting information I have ever heard of. I don't think I can ever look Dumbledore in the eyes without shuddering at the thought of them shagging. _

_Besides that disturbing thought, I took care of that matters in my hands and killed her. Ha! I am __**not**__ a coward. I win. _

_Sincerely, _

_Voldemort_

_P.S. – You do not have the right to call me by whatever weird nicknames you have come up with! My name is Voldemort you nut head! _

Smirking at his reply, I began writing another bet.

(10 minutes later)

At Voldemort's Hideout

Ahhhh! Now I can relax in my nice warm Jacuzzi and-Avrick!? Why is that idiotic bird in my bathroom!?

"Avrick! Get out! Ughh, wait, you have another reply from that son-of-a-bitch-who-wouldn't-die!? Fine! Give it here!"

_Dear Coward,_

_You know what? I changed my mind. _

_I did say, "I __**may**__ consider you not a coward". Just because you killed Bellatrix, it still does not mean you are not a coward. You probably killed her because you wanted to feel in control and powerful, but really, you are so weak. _

_I bet you even have a small dick because you are such a coward! Tiny weeny Voldie wiener! _

_Sincerely,_

_The-boy-who-believes-you-have-a-small-winy_

_P.S. – It's a free world dude. _

How dare he! He insulted my anatomy!? He just crossed the line! I'll show him!

(15 minutes later)

At Harry Potter's Place (4 Privet Drive):

*Tap tap tap

"Oh, hi beauty! You have another reply from him? Here some treats for you girl," I whispered as I started reading the letter.

_Potter,_

_I am not a coward! _

_My cock is not tiny! In fact, I attached some pictures to this letter to show you that my cock is massive! To be exact, I measured my huge cock for you! My cock is 12 inches long and 2 ½ inches wide!_

_Voldemort_

_P.S. – It won't be a free world for too long because I am going to take over and rule the world!_

Ehehe! And here come the last and final bait. And wow. I did not think he would be so enthusiastic about his cock. Geez, his cock must be a touchy subject…not that I'm complaining. These pictures are exquisite! I think I'll keep these pictures in my scrapbook. Mmmm…I need to jerk off before I send out another reply.

(20 minutes later)

"Here you go beauty."

Hmmm, I think I should do a silencing spell and prepare for the finale. After all, I don't want Vermon or anyone to interrupt our fucking time.

At Voldemort's Hideout

Ha! I think he'll be jealous of my beautiful massive cock. In fact, I think he'll call me King since my cock should be something everyone should worship. Hmph, here comes his reply.

_Dear Limp-Cock,_

_Ok, so what? You have a big cock. Congrats! But, have you even used it? Just because you have a big cock, it doesn't mean you are good in bed AKA fucking. _

_I bet you can't make anyone feel good with that massive cock of yours! In fact, I bet you can't even make me feel good with that cock of yours! You're probably a scared __**cowardly**__ virgin! _

_Sincerely,_

_The-boy-who-lives-to-challenge-limp-cock-dark-lords_

_P.S. – I really doubt that will happen._

"Potterrrrrrrrrr! I'm coming to fuck the shit out of you!"

At Harry Potter's Place (4 Privet Drive)

Harry was quietly humming to himself when all of a sudden, Voldemort apparated into his room. He was now face-to-face with a very very pissed off Voldemort.

"Potterrrrrrr! I'm going to fuck you sssso good and hard that you will only be sssssscreaming how good my cock feelsssss," Voldemort roared with such venom that made Harry shudder while pushing him fiercely against the wall.

Harry replied with the same amount of venom, "I bet you can't!"

With this sudden lure, Voldemort pounced on Harry, ripped his shirt off, and started to roughly grind his hard cock on Harry. As he kept grinding, he stripped the rest of Harry's clothes off while viciously attacking Harry's neck.

"I will make you feel sssso sssssorry that you have ever challenged me!," Voldemort snarled.

"Nnnnnaaah!," Harry incoherently moaned as he panted in harmony with Voldemort's heavy pants. Harry then quickly snapped open Voldemort's robe while arching his body against Voldemort's touch.

Voldemort then turned Harry around and whispered a spell that chained Harry's arms above his head on the wall.

"I'm going to fuck you sssso hard, that you won't be able to walk! I'm going to fuck you sssso good, that you will only be ssssscreaming my name!," Voldemort hissed into Harry's ears.

Suddenly, Harry felt his arse split into two.

"Nggghhhaaahhhhhh!," Harry howled. He knew he was asking for it, but this was also his first time. He wanted to give his virginity to the person he loves and that person he loves happens to be Voldemort, the person who hates him. That is why he baited Voldemort through these letters in order to hope that his Slytherin plan worked. Now, he felt so much pain. The pain not only from Voldemort's massive horse cock in him, but the pain of knowing that Voldemort will never love him back. Harry then started to softly cry as he couldn't hold in his tears anymore.

As much as Voldemort is enjoying the incredible tightness around his hard cock, he was rather startled by Harry's sudden sobbing. He stopped his harsh thrusting and stroked Harry's hair out of Harry's face. While gently soothing Harry, Voldemort unchained Harry's arms and turned him around.

"Harry, what's wrong?," Voldemort quietly asked without realizing that he used Harry's first name.

Harry then glanced up to meet Voldemort's red gleaming eyes before quickly looking back down, "Ever since I met you, I started to like you. I knew it was wrong because you are my enemy, but I can't help it. Then this year, everyone I know of lost their virginity and I wanted to lose my virginity to someone I love. The person I love happens to be you. In order to get you to have sex with me, I came up with betting with you over those letters."

Voldemort was at awe. Someone actually went through all this trouble of planning in order to get his attention. He then gently cupped Harry's chin and pulled him up for a loving kiss. The kiss sent an electric jolt of warmth to both of their bodies. While gently kissing Harry, Voldemort started to tenderly caress Harry's hard nipples as he roamed his hand around Harry's body. As he began tweaking Harry's nipples, Harry began to softly moan into the kiss. Their bodies were rubbing against each other in a loving manner while Voldemort enjoyed teasing Harry's body by mapping out the smaller boy's delicate features. Each part that he teases, Harry would more and more breathless whimpers. Eventually, through his teasing, Voldemort began stroking Harry's painfully hard dripping cock. Suddenly, Voldemort realizes that he was still inside Harry. As Harry was lost in pleasure, Voldemort slowly began to lift Harry's legs up and experimentally thrust. To his delight, Harry moaned louder. In time with each stroking of Harry's cock, each thrust became stronger and deeper, but was still kept at a slow and steady pace.

Suddenly Harry tore off his lips from Voldemort, "V-vold-e-mort, nnnahh, gonna cum," Harry warned in a breathless tone. With this warning, Harry tightened around Voldemort's massive 12-inch long hard cock and elegantly arched his back. This action also triggered Voldemort's need to release into Harry's hot channel as Harry spurted his pearly white seed over his stomach. Both exhausted by sex, they bathed in the after glow of sex by lying down beside each other.

After a couple minutes, Harry finally found his voice and rested his head on Voldemort's chest.

"I love you Voldemort," Harry whispered into Voldemort's right ear and raised his head up to meet Voldemort's crimson eyes. This time, Voldemort gave a small smile know that Harry meant every word he said due to his legilimency ability to see the truth.

"Harry, lets make a deal," Voldemort replied.

Harry arched his eyebrows in a confused manner, "Ok, lets hear it."

"If you spend the rest of your life as my lover, I will stop the war," Voldemort stated.

To Voldemort's amusement, Harry's eyes widen at the deal Voldemort offered while slowly realizing that Voldemort wanted him.

"Yes! Yes, it's a deal!," Harry enthusiastically shouted while pouncing directly onto Voldemort on the bed. Voldemort gave a little flinch due to such loud retort, but then gave Harry a genuine smile that made his face light up. He then pulled Harry into a loving passionate kiss that made both of them hard once again before flipping them over so he was on top of Harry.

Voldemort then gave Harry a sexy evil smirk before saying in a husky tone, "Time for round 2."

**THE END **

**Until next time,**

**RAWR! ;)**


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